Repatriation: 8 Week Update
Ahh, repatriation. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve received a few requests to talk about how my repatriation has been. Honestly, I’ve been reluctant to write about it because so far it has been hard and there haven’t been many positive feelings. I’ve heard a saying that, “You shouldn’t teach from a place of hurt.” Meaning, get through what you’re going through first, then help others behind you.
Buttt, I also think it would be good to document my journey through repatriation at different times. Maybe at 2 months, 5 months and 6 months? I’ve been told that normally around 6 months you start to feel settled down and more content with life in your home country.
At the risk of this blog post turning into a livejournal post (does that age me?!), I’ll share some major areas I’ve struggled with over the last 8 weeks.
Here are a couple things I’ve noticed so far...
1. I Feel Un-challenged by Life Right Now
This is the biggest struggle for me now. The excitement of moving home and having access to all my favorite foods, and being able to communicate with everyone around me has worn off. And I’m left with the sense of missing my expat life.
I feel so un-challenged by life right now.
Living overseas, there was thriving but also a lot of survival mode. I didn’t know the languages, I didn’t know the customs. It’s almost like you’re a kid and you have to learn basic things all over again.
Here in my home country, it feels status quo and that I know what to expect in every situation. I feel like there’s no extra learning or challenge that expat life used to give me.
There is certainly something peaceful and restful about being back home. But I feel like my heart is still out there in the world.
2. I May Have Idealized Life Back Home
I cannot count the number of times I said, “I can’t wait ‘till we move back home” when I was having a tough day living abroad. Now, I fear I may have glamorized life here. Of course the USA is amazing and there are countless wonderful things about living here. But I was definitely guilty of thinking the grass was greener here than where I was at the time. I wish I had made a bigger effort in those hard times to lean into expat life versus just missing and wanting to move back home.
3. I Miss Some of the Customs I Learned Overseas
Perception of Time
I’m always late now. Well, Americans think I’m late. Angolans or Argentines would say I’m on time or early lol. When I hear times now, my mind works with a 15 minute window. For example, if someone says to meet for lunch at 1pm, I think as long as you’re there before 1:20ish, you’re fine. No biggie. Life happens. You got caught by a few extra stoplights, you couldn’t find the right shoes or you needed to finish a phone conversation outside real quick. Buttt, that’s not the way we do things here in America and it’s already made me late several times over the past 8 weeks. I miss a more flexible or fluid schedule.
Busy Culture
I also get tired of the “busy” culture here. Overseas, you would never hear people talk about how “busy” they were. Sure, everyone had things going on in their life, but being busy wasn’t something to brag about or a way to start off a conversation. They didn’t want to hear about your busy-ness, they wanted to hear how your family was or what your weekend plans were.
In Angola, our department's technical admins (Maria and Suzett) and I became friends and I learned from them how to “work with Angolans”. The most important thing I learned was how to build relationships in order to get work done. Americans were so used to sending an email requesting a task and receiving a response. But if you sent an email to an Angolan (especially someone you didn’t personally know) you might not get a response back, ever.
They taught me that it was so important in their culture to strike up a friendly conversation & build a relationship first. I needed to ask how a person's day was going, how their children were (and call them by their names) and remember that over the weekend they may be going to the family’s home in Benguela.
So, I put it into practice since I worked with many Angolans from different departments that were not my friends.
I would take the time to go to their desk, introduce myself, ask some questions about them and just conversate for about 10 minutes. Then, I would let them know I’d be sending them an email that I could really use their help with. I’d return to my desk, send the email and normally get the response that I needed.
I miss learning new things about a culture and feeling victorious when I “mastered” them.
Conclusion
It’s funny that I now miss these things because these are the exact same cultural quirks that drove me nuts when I first moved abroad!
This is how I’m feeling at week 8 of my repatriation. I’m sure I will slowly get more accustomed to life back in the USA and I look forward to sharing it with you and being able to look back at my progress.
